A CASA DOS 1000 CORPOS

                                        Written by

                                       R.W. Zombie

UM TRECHO:
                                                     

               FADE IN:

               INT. OLD HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

               We see a LITTLE GIRL dancing around in a grainy super 8 home 
               movie. A LITTLE BOY wearing a monster MASK enters the frame. 
               He struggles to lift a double barrel shotgun. He points it 
               at the girl and pretends to SHOOT.

                                     GIRL (V.O.)
                              (whispering slowly)
                         Once I had a cat, he was the sweetest 
                         little guy. Then one day he got sick 
                         and died. My heart was broken. My 
                         whole body hurt.

               She continues dancing. The little boy imitates her.

                                     GIRL (V.O.)
                         After that, I saw things differently, 
                         everything could be summed up with 
                         three simple words... fuck the world.

               The camera swings over to some ugly, toothless relations 
               watching the show. They laugh.

               EXT. SPAULDING'S - NIGHT

               We open on a dark, lonely stretch of two lane blacktop.

               Off to the side of the road we see a rundown gas station.

                                     RADIO ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
                         Hey, welcome back to 93.5 WJRC's 
                         Halloween monster weekend. I'm Jimmy 
                         Ray and I'll be bringing you the 
                         oldies, the goldies and sometimes 
                         the moldies. The good, the bad and 
                         the uglies straight from the WJRC 
                         vaults.

               A weathered wooden sign proclaims CAPTAIN SPAULDING'S WORLD 
               OF MONSTERS AND MADMEN, sits atop the building.

               A smaller sign below reads FRIED CHICKEN AND GASOLINE.

                                     RADIO ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
                         Hey, kids still trying to decide on 
                         the right costume? Well why not head 
                         on down to Randall's Penny Save 
                         located on Kimball Rd. just off route 
                         1 in Mackin County. Choose from a 
                         wide array of ghosts and ghouls, 
                         jeepers and creepers...
                              (scary sound effects)
                         ...everything you need for your 
                         Halloween needs.

               SHERIFF HUSTON, a tall southern good old boy, leans against 
               his dusty cruiser smoking a cigarette, pumping gas into his 
               tank.

               INT. CAPT. SPAULDING'S - NIGHT

               Inside is a poorman's Ripley's Believe It or Not.

               Bizarre props and treasures of killers and monsters cover 
               the dirty walls. Wax figures of JACK THE RIPPER stand guard 
               before oil paintings by JOHN WAYNE GACY.

                                     RADIO ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
                         Alright let's get back to our monster 
                         music marathon with this classic 
                         called The Teddy Bear's Picnic.

               Perched on a stool behind the counter sits CAPTAIN SPAULDING, 
               a crusty looking old man in a filthy clown suit and smeared 
               make-up. The word LOVE is tattooed across his right knuckles 
               and HATE is tattooed across the left.

               He is reading the newspaper, crunching on crackers from a 
               paper bag and halfheartedly listening to a small, nerdy man 
               wearing coke bottle glasses named STUCKY.

               Stucky thumbs through a stack of autographed 8x10 photographs.

                                     STUCKY
                              (speaking through 
                              voicebox in his throat)
                         I... I got back a stack today. Some 
                         nice shots.
                              (holds up a picture 
                              of June Wilkinson)
                         See, a good topless June Wilkinson... 
                         unfortunately she personalized it...
                              (looking at the photo)
                         to Stucky, love June.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         Hmmmmm.

                                     STUCKY
                         Shit, this ain't worth nothing now 
                         that my name gotten all over it. I 
                         was a fixin' on trading it to Jackie 
                         Cobb.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         The retard over at Molly's fruit 
                         stand.

                                     STUCKY
                         Yeah, he's all hot on her after he 
                         found some of his dad's old nudie 
                         books hidden in the basement. He 
                         keeps 'em taped inside his school 
                         workbook.

               Spaulding brushes cracker crumbs off his paper and continues 
               reading.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         Fascinating.

                                     STUCKY
                         That kid is one horny retard.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         Christ, ain't they all. All them 
                         retards wanna do is fuck and eat.

                                     STUCKY
                         Well, yeah... I think that if you 
                         knew him... I mean if you'd understand 
                         his urges, shit the guy's like forty 
                         or something.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         Worse than a fucking rabid baboon.

                                     STUCKY
                         Yeah, I guess, you know next to 
                         wacking his weasel his other favorite 
                         thing is twisting sharpened pencils 
                         in the corner of his eyes.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         What?

                                     STUCKY
                         Yeah, doesn't hurt himself, just 
                         spins it around next to his eyeball.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         I'm sure that ain't the only place 
                         he's sticking those pencils.

                                     STUCKY
                         Naw, he don't do anything else with 
                         'em, but he did get caught once with 
                         a Planet of the Apes doll hanging 
                         out his asshole.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                              (laughing)
                         Goddamn.

                                     STUCKY
                         Had to take him to the hospital. Kid 
                         had Dr. Zaius stuck half way up his 
                         butt, couldn't get it out.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         I always loved that mute broad that 
                         Chuck Heston was shacking up with.

                                     STUCKY
                         Nova, yeah she looked pretty sweet.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         Yeah, now there's the perfect woman.

                                     STUCKY
                         Can I get some stamps off ya?
                              (slapping down his 
                              money)
                         Did you fix the toilet yet?

               Opens a drawer and tears off five stamps.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         Yes, I did... so don't you go stuffin' 
                         any goddamn paper towels down that 
                         hole. I just snaked the shit out of 
                         that thing.

               Spaulding SLIDES the KEY attached to a cow skull across the 
               counter. Stucky grabs it. Spaulding hangs on.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         Ya hear me? You bust that crapper 
                         and I'll beat your ass.

                                     STUCKY
                         I hear ya.

               He lets go of the key.

               EXT. CAPT. SPAULDING'S - NIGHT

               From a STRANGER'S POV we watch through the window, Stucky 
               EXIT for the restroom.

               Sheriff Huston finishes pumping his gas, gets in his cruiser 
               and drives off.

                                     KARL (O.S.)
                         All clear. Let's go shopping.

                                     RICH (O.S.)
                         Right.

               From this POV we RACE across the highway towards the front 
               door of the MUSEUM.

               SLAM! We BURST through the door.

               INT. SPAULDING'S - SAME

               The moment of impact. BOOM. The door SMASHES open.  
               Spaulding's head JERKS up to see: a masked gunman, KARL, 
               wearing a LEATHER S+M MASK.

               Behind him stands a second gunman, RICH, wearing a rubber 
               CAVEMAN MASK.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         Mary fucking Moses. Get the fuck out 
                         of here.

                                     KARL
                         Hold it, clowney. Keep your paws 
                         where I can see 'em.

                                     RICH
                         Yeah, don't move or I'll blast a 
                         hole the size of a Kansas City melon 
                         through your ugly-ass Bozo face.

               Spaulding obeys and raises his hands.

                                     KARL
                         Go get that other asshole out of the 
                         shitter and drag his ass back in 
                         here.

                                     RICH
                         Right.

               Rich exits.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         Miserable little cunts with guns. I 
                         ought to jump right over this counter 
                         and bash your fucking balls in.

               Killer Karl steps up and puts his gun against Spaulding's 
               face.

                                     KARL
                         Alright Tippy, hand over the cash 
                         box and I might leave your brains 
                         inside your skull.

               Spaulding smiles wide, his teeth are yellow and rotted.

               CLOSE UP

               Spaulding's foot kicks a red switch, triggering a silent 
               alarm.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         That's what you bitches need. A 
                         reality check courtesy of my boot in 
                         your ass. That'll be a fucking cash 
                         box you can cry to mamma about.

               INT. SPAULDING'S - BACKROOM - NIGHT

               A silent RED LIGHT FLASHES. In the dim glow, we see RAVELLI, 
               a large hunched figure, sitting on the edge of a bed. The 
               figure is heavily bandaged.

               Ravelli reacts to the flashing light, he RISES and puts a 
               huge mask over his head. He EXITS the room.

               INT. BATHROOM STALL - NIGHT

               Stucky sits on the toilet pasting stamps on large yellow 
               envelopes.

               Killer Rich KICKS OPEN the stall, GRABS Stucky by the neck 
               and PULLS him out.

                                     RICH
                         Come on, fatboy!

               EXT. CAPT. SPAULDING'S - NIGHT

               We move around the outside of the building watching the scene 
               inside unfold. HEAVY BREATHING is heard.

               Rich DRAGS Stucky into the main room.

               INT. SPAULDING'S - NIGHT

               Karl grows increasingly HOSTILE, knocks a candy display over, 
               raises his gun over his head and fires into the ceiling.

                                     KARL
                              (screaming)
                         That's it. I'm gonna count to ten 
                         and you're gonna hand over the cash 
                         or I'm gonna splatter your grease 
                         paint mug across the stateline... 
                         one.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         Fuck your mother.

                                     KARL
                         Two.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         Fuck your sister.

                                     RICH
                         Come on, man. Just shoot him.

                                     STUCKY
                              (recognizing Rich's 
                              voice)
                         Hey, I know you. We were in high 
                         school together. Wood shop, right? 
                         ...Richard Wick... right?

               He looks nervously at Stucky.

                                     RICH
                         Shut up, shut up, shut up!

                                     KARL
                         Quiet down... three.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         Fuck your grandmother.

                                     STUCKY
                         Yeah, I remember Mr. Alacard the 
                         shop teacher use'ta call you Little 
                         Dick Wick. Hey, wasn't there a song 
                         we made up to go with that?

                                     RICH
                              (temper rising)
                         Shut up!

                                     STUCKY
                              (singing)
                         Little Dick Wick, play with his prick 
                         Don't his smell, just make you sick.

               EXT. CAPT. SPAULDING'S - NIGHT

               From Ravelli's POV we watch through the window, as everybody 
               inside starts SHOUTING at each other.

               Suddenly, Rich SHOOTS Stucky. Stucky FALLS BACKWARDS against 
               the wall, screaming in pain.

               We move QUICKLY towards the entrance.

               INT. CAPT. SPAULDING'S - NIGHT

               Suddenly... CRASH! Ravelli SMASHES through the front door 
               knocking Karl to the ground. In the light we see that Ravelli 
               is wearing an OVERSIZED CLOWN HEAD. In his hand is a 
               sledgehammer.

               Rich TURNS toward the COMMOTION. The Captain quickly WHIPS 
               OUT a GUN and FIRES. Rich falls dead.

               Ravelli lunges at Karl, smashing him over the head with the 
               hammer. Ravelli's clown head comes loose and falls to the 
               floor. We now see that Ravelli is a bald pitbull of a man 
               with badly scarred skin that is painted white and red.

               Karl hits the floor and begins CONVULSING violently.

               Spaulding STEPS DOWN from behind the counter, puts his foot 
               on Karl's throat and points his pistol at Karl's head.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING
                         And most of all... fuck you!

               BOOM! Spaulding SHOOTS Karl in the head.

               The screen EXPLODES RED, then TURNS BLACK.

                                     CAPT. SPAULDING (V.O.)
                         God damn it, that motherfucker got 
                         blood all over my best clown suit.

               CREDITS ROLL

               Strange paintings of demons, monsters and bizarre creatures 
               fade up and move across the screen.